religion & me
The question that has been bothering me for some-time: Am I a religious person ?
I am a confused person, and this is no exception ... I am not an atheist, but I am not a devout believer either. Let us just say, that I want to be a believer, but am not there yet.
I remember, in the younger days, I used to goto the temple, to see the pious beautiful girls.. Gurudwara used be a haunting place for me for another matter -- (the halwa ) :)
Those days have long gone, as age brings on new things to light, but I am still not convinced that God is anything more than a thing of our imagination - for a better society - But then I would not admit that I am an atheist; for the fear of the wrath.
We humans have always wanted a backup, someplace to go to, and convince ourselves that there is hope. God/religion becomes the ultimate backup -- an explantion for anything, which our limited knowledge does not have an answer too.
If there is an earthquake, it must be the wrath of God -- God punished me with bad grades ... there is a final explanation for every disaster - which is beyond the control of a simpler explanation.
But then, if we look at it a little "un - cynically", is'nt this what an utopian society all about .. where only good towards others is thought of/ acted upon because of the fear of something above the man made laws -- the religion/God ? So religion becomes a strength, a society which is aimed at being "good".
The only weak point in this whole card castle, is the defination of "good" is defined by the people who run this society ... and we arrive at the catch 22 situation of "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" -"Who would gaurd the gaurds?".
What I fail to understand is this --- How could something that has been written 2 - 4 thousand years ago, applicable, in its entierity even today. More than that, how do we trust the "gaurdians" of the faith, that they have interpreted the text which is not to be understood by the common man.
But then, religion is all about faith aint it ? And so is God, the more faith you'll have, more trust you'll have.
To give it a break, religion is a brilliant concept -- its self righteousness at its best -- let the ppl decide when they have gone wrong, and they will pay for the sins, because they "believe" that they have done wrong !!! Wow !!, talk abt ancient psycological binding.
Hindu's believe in re-incarnation: No one can prove it, or disprove it .. so religion also fits in very nicely, at the edge of reason - where science has no answers (yet).
So, do we actually try and understand, (and that should be very highly celeberated achievements) .. and what we cannot explain, "rationally", the religion covets it as divine ?
The Science and religion being Yin and Yang of our understanding of the events around us :)
But if understanding is what it is about, what is it that really stops me to be a devout pious follower... ? Why is it, that this leap of faith is so difficult, till the time you move over ?
There are too many questions, and too many doubts -- I guess thats the reason, that faith is so difficult for ppl like me.
Till the time, people like me are in the rich divine shadow; I guess what will suffice, is that there is hope, that we are trying to believe.